Sunday, October 30, 2005

Yay for Completion

I finished my Villanova App! Wooh!

Now I have at least one college I can go to (assuming I get accepted). Oh, yeah, and they have to give me money. Silly money and it's being necessary.

:(

Thoughts And Stuff

How can I put this? As of late, I've felt very - inauthentic. Not real. Fake. As if I'm not living my real life. As if I'm not living fully.

Sounds weird. I think I can blame most of this feeling on all the random busy work I've had to do. You know, things like college apps, Hi-Q, English, and other random miscellanea. Things that I just don't feel are important. At the same time, pay to Caesar what is Caesar's and to [name] what is [name]'s. In this world, there are certain things that I "have" to do. That's just the way the relative world works. Spin, spin, spin.

How do I want to feel? Let's use a poem:

My mind is not busy with desires, Lord,
and my heart has satisfied its longings.
I do not care about religion
or anything that is not you.
I have soothed and quieted my soul,
like a child at its mother's breast.
My soul is as peaceful as a child
sleeping in its mother's arms. (Psalm 131)


To feel like that. Settled. Not going "anyway the wind blows." What I'd give for that. For peace of mind.

But that doesn't seem to be my karma. It's just not the way I work. My mind is like a freaking monkey, jumping from one tree (thought) to another.

Eh, just felt like bitching. Don't worry, this "problem" isn't all that big. Well, not to anyone that isn't me. To everyone else, my "inauthenticity" isn't all that important. But since this blog is called Ruminations, I figured I'd ruminate.

Namaste.

Band Video

Yesterday's band video is available here. Enjoy.

It really wasn't as bad as I thought. Which is a little scary. If it wasn't that bad, how are we supposed to improve the score? I guess we'll find out Monday.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Jesus


Jesus
Originally uploaded by David Darmon.
Today was Senior Dress-Up Day. I don't know if that much fun should be legal.

Obviously I went as Jesus. Ed, Matt, and I did a spoof on Evangelicism. Ed was the bum. Matt was the crazy Evangelical Christian.

Though, apparently people thought I was stripper Jesus. Jeese, a guy shows a little skin, and suddenly he's stripper Jesus. :)

Congrats to the Peter Pan group (aka Brett, Laura, Kenny, Holly, Jim, and Noelle) for winning best group and to the Blues Brothers (aka Brian and Sean) for winning funniest group. You guys rocked!

Well, I'm currently mourning the loss of my beard. So, I'll be locked up in my room. (Just kidding!)

Thursday, October 27, 2005

I <3 Inspiration

"[Let] the beauty we love, and the beauty we are, be what we do."

-- Excerpt from Coming to Our Senses by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Damn. That has to be the best one sentence description of life's purpose I've ever come across.

If we could all live that message, the world would be a freakin' crazy love filled place. What a novel thought, eh?

Tomorrow is Senior Dress-Up Day. You know what that means. It's game time. Aw yeah.

Namaste.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Well, Gee, What's a Guy to Do

I was reading in one of the several books that I spend my life reading instead of living and I came across something called "Gödel's Incompleteness Theorems." This topic is totally unrelated to the premise of the book (I wasn't reading a math book for fun!); it was really about mindfulness. But the guy was making a point about mathematics.

Anyway, I won't try and explain what Gödel's thingie is. To be honest, I don't understand it myself. I'm pretty sure it's something about how sets can't be defined in mathematics. Something my Gov School Discrete Math Teacher said. Since all (well, most of) math is defined by sets, that means that math is based on something without a definition.

The author, Kabat-Zinn, compares the Incompleteness Theorems in mathematics to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle in physics. Which made me think, 'Shit, we really don't know shit.'

And I just thought I'd share that with you. Maybe you've learned something. Maybe not.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

It's a Girl!

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Orlando on having a beautiful (aren't all babies beautiful?) baby girl. Welcome to the world. I wish her the best of luck. Though she won't need it with the parents she has.

Her journey began on the twenty-fourth day of the tenth month of the two thousand and fifth year in the common era. May her path be ever exciting and illuminating.

Three cheers for Samantha Orlando.

Feeling Peaceful

These past few days, I've been feeling very peaceful. But a strange sort of peaceful. A peaceful that exists in the midst of rushing. Or maybe I'm just imagining the peacefulness because I'd like it to be there.

Sometimes I just wish I could go off to a monastery somewhere and just sit. Join a group of like minded individuals and sit. Breath. Be.

And then I wake up, find myself in a rushing Western World, consistently moving forward, and realize that this is not the place for me. Not in this life, anyway. Maybe in the past. Maybe in the future. But now, today, I must live in the present. And the present, in the present, is always rushing ahead. Or maybe it's not moving at all.

Wow. I scare myself sometimes when I allow me to go stream-of-consciousness. If you could see inside my head... shudder. :)

And now to a poem.

Enough. These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.

This opening to the life
we have refused
again and again
until now.

Until now.

-- David Whyte

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Happy Mol Day!!!

And you all thought I forgot! It's that special day: Mol Day. That's right, October 23rd commemorates that most famous of numbers, Avogadro's.

Let's all count to 6.02E23 together. Ready! One! Two! Thre... Well, that gets old real quick. :0 I hope you enjoyed your Mol Day. Not writing an English paper. Sigh.

And now to a most non-science related song. Why? Because the Spirit moves me.

+ Dharma - Drama by Stuart Davis

Doped up in the goddamn drama
groping for the Golden Dharma
Birth and death both rubber band
back to the Bardo, cue the laugh track
Into the lie of time
Into the veil of space
Into the lie of time
Into the veil of space

I keep filling up my lungs
with a love for every one
including you
You open up your chest
inhale the dispossesed
including me
including me

Is
it is all suddenly
so in us lifted love
reflected
love lifted us in so
suddenly all is perfected
Even the lie of time
Even the veil of space
Even the lie of time
Even the veil of space

As we were
before we were
Is
as we are
after we are
Is
We are
Is
We are
Is

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Halloween

Dude, you will not BELIEVE what I just came up with to do for the Halloween skit. Absolutely will not believe it! It's a guarenteed prize in "most original".

Hint: think Jesus. Think Hippie. Think Hippie Jesus. And that's just the beginning!

Yay!

Censored!


Censored
Originally uploaded by David Darmon.
The man's putting me down again! My mom bought the Homecoming booklet that has all the Seniors and their profiles in it. I, in a fit of genius (or smartassness, depending on your opinion) put for my most memorable moment Mr. German saying during a enumeration of assignments, "Remember to give Dave Darmon all your sex." And they took it out. Oh well. I guess it's not really "appropriate." But it was funny. And it happened.

Big Brother, I'll get you!

Free Time Yields Some Thoughts

I suddenly find myself with tons (3 more hours) of free times thanks to Divine Providence. Wooh.

So, I'll post on some of those ideas that I eluded to previously. Let's see.

First one: Homecoming Dance. I had a surprising amount of fun. As in, I don't think I've ever had fun at a normal dance before [meaning I had fun at my Junior Prom], but I did yesterday. Of course, the conditions were just like normal: bad music, lots of people, nothing much to do. Instead of letting that get to me, I just hung out with some good people and made fun. Of course, people still tried to get me to "dance." I humored them with my Dave Curlett "seizuring dance" that I picked up from my brother my Freshman year. Always comes in handy.

It's funny how people react to someone sitting down on the dance floor and meditating. With about 15 minutes to go, I was getting tired. So I sat down, closed my eyes, and just kinda breathed (aka meditated). You'd be surprised by the number of people that came up to me and asked, "Are you okay." I smiled and responded kindly, "Of course. Just felt like sitting." Thinking back on it, I probably looked high or something. Then again, mellow people always looks as if they've just smoked the Reefer. That whole experience was fun [the sitting down, not the smoking of the Reefer. :) ].

Now to the closed-mindedness. Mrs. Hanobeck apparently thinks I'm closed-minded because I think that the dialect in There Eyes Were Watching God is Ebonics. I don't see how that makes me closed-minded. Just because I'm not Politically Correct Man doesn't make me Racist Bigot Man. PC people aren't any fun anyway. Unless you get them drunk. Then that's a different situation completely.

Well, I'm going to go enjoy the rest of this Saturday. The rest that I still have.

To the Guitar!

Friday, October 21, 2005

This is a Test

Just downloaded some random new browser called Flock. It's based on the Mozilla browser. It's... different. But it allows me to post directly from the browser. Interesting.

Well, this was just a test. I'll probably post on the dance / my "close-mindedness" / other things tomorrow. Maybe

Later.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

How the Are We Seniors?!

So, I was filling out the Senior Directory, and I decided to flip through my old yearbooks to get some ideas. That's when a thought came to my mind: There's no freakin' way we're seniors. I mean, no offense to us, but we just don't cut it. We don't look old enough. We're not cool enough. We're not smart enough. We're not, heck, anything enough.

Then a second thought hit me. Yeah, we're not "seniors," in the sense I think of seniors. When I think of seniors, I think back to my freshman year, my sophomore year, and my junior year. And we'll never be them. But we're us. We're this year's seniors. For better or for worse.

And after all of that, I still don't have a good direcory entry, and I still don't feel like a senior. Sigh.

Heh, not a very deep post, but I'm saving the deepness for the directory. Got to make it shiny. Hahaha.

Adios.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Gawd

So many thoughts that I'd love to post. And yet no time to do the posting. So for now, I'll just steal a post from another dude. Check it out here.

Of course, when I have time to post, I'll be in a drought of lack of thought. Oh, the ironies of life.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

"Happy"

Everyone dies, everyone loves a fight
Nothing is sound, nothing is right side right
Evening comes when the sun goes down in red
Nothing is cool
When will all the fighting end?
Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing in the world could fail me now
It's empty as an argument
I'm running down a life that won't cash out
Everything fails
Everything runs its course
A time and a place for all this love and war
Everyone buys, everyone's got a price
Nothing is new, when will all the failures rise
When will all us failures rise, rise
Happy is a yuppie word
Blessed is the man who's lost it all
Looking for an orphanage
I'm looking for a bridge I can't burn down
I don't believe the emptiness
I'm looking for the kingdom coming down
Everything is meaningless
I want more than simple cash can buy
Happy is a yuppie word
Nothing is sound


Nothing is Sound by Switchfoot

This song strikes a chord with me for some reason (no pun intended). It's just so purty. And meaningful.

Whatever. Just thought I'd share. :)

A Thought

Whatever you can do, or believe you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

And on that note, I'm going to get some things done that deserve getting done.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Inarticulate Blather

Well, I should be finishing my AP English paper. But gaaaah. It's just not happening. It's like all the good ideas jumped out of my head after the first 3 pages. Man, and I have to write a paper for this quarter, too. No fun.

I guess this is what college is like. Constant paper writing. Woo hoo!

My brain is thoroughly fried right now. Man. Ow.

So, I'm going to stop trying to write now.

Bye.

Yesterday's Competition

After minimum trouble, I have yesterday's marching band competition up here. I found out that Multiply only gives you 30MB upload space of video EVER. As in, even if you delete a video, you can't upload anymore. As Janean would say, "Gay." But I suppose it's free. So now I've just made the file smaller, without really decreasing the quality all that much. Sorry for the delay. I'm learning.

I hope it works for everyone. It should. If it doesn't, make sure you have the latest version of Quicktime on your computer.

Have a nice Sunday. I'll be spending mine doing an AP English book report / analysis. :(

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Regular Life

In breaking with the pattern of the past few entries, this one will just be about plain old, everday life. Why? Because (a) I'm sure you're getting bored about all the info I've been "shoveling" out (hahaha) and (b) I have a funny story to tell.

Today in AP English (Language), I was available to help out with the class, like normal. The Juniors was working on a poster project (gag). So Kim Woods, whose partner was absent, asks Ms. Shulman, "Since my partner isn't here, can Dave Darmon help me?" And Ms. Shulman, in a wry mood, replies, "Well, Dave, at least one women in the world wants you."

Ouch.

:)

I got burned by Ms. Shulman. Like 1st degree. Damn.

In other news, I got "pwned" (look at me using nifty lingo!) in Hi-Q yesterday. I haven't had the (read made the) time to read the Lit and Shakespeare. And it showed yesterday. Hard. I'll have to work on that. I'll be up to speed by the first competition. And hopefully by next practice.

I've more or less decided on Villanova as my future educational home. I'm finally getting all the paper work filled out. It's amazing what a little motivation and a fast approaching essay can do. Truly amazing.

Well, I hope everyone enjoys the rest of, um, the evening. Have a beautiful today and a pleasant tomorrow.

Namaste.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Existence

My good friend Dave McClung has recently opened a fascinating can of worms. One that once a person's opened, they can never close. Kind of a Pandora's Box, if you will. Here's a brief excerpt from his thinking:

However, even though a lower population would use less energy, according to the second law of thermodynamics, entropy in the universe is increasing meaning that more unusable energy is being created every day. Humans are very ordered in comparison with other parts of the universe. Eventually, humans will be broken down because they can no longer keep their organized state because of the increase of entropy. However, with the sun helping us out by providing us unimaginable amounts of energy, the entropy created is replaced by Gibb's Free energy, which is energy that we can use to do work, or make order.


And here's an excerpt of my response:

It's funny how a little science can go a long way towards tearing the world apart. Entropy, the laws of Thermodynamics, evolution, etc, I agree with all of these (to the extent of what we know). But I also think/know that there's more to the universe than that. More that we don't know. There has to be.

Let's face it. We've been around for a mere 2E5 (two hundred thousand) years. Compare that to the 1.2E10 (twelve billion) years that this universe has been in existence. That means we've been around for 0.000167% of the history of the universe. Or, since I like scientific notation so much, 1.67E-4%. And yet we think we know shit about the Cosmos. Dude, we don't know shit.


Now let me expand on this whole "not knowing shit" concept.

One of the things science is still working on is finding out what about 93% of the universe is made up of. Because it doesn't know. We call it "dark matter / energy." I spent a good 3 weeks on this topic with a brilliant physics professor at Governor's School. And the best explanation he could give for this "dark" stuff was that it was like a fluid. Like water. But he still couldn't say WHAT IT WAS.

If we honestly don't know what such a large part of the universe is (and it's a really huge part. Think about it. All the stuff you think the universe is made up of is ONLY that 7%. The billions upon billions of planets and stars are only 7%. To quote myself, "Holy fuck!") how can we even guess at, let alone proclaim, that we know how the universe works. Isn't that just a tad bit pompous? A little infantile?

Then there's systems theory and all its fun offspring (like chaos theory). That stuff takes classical mechanics, thermodynamics, etc, and turns them on their head. Literally redefines how we think about EVERYTHING. It isn't anything new. Just not something they teach us at school. Why not? Probably because it's "too hard." Or maybe too esoteric. You know, like General Relativity. ("Can you explain this with something a little less esoteric than Relativity? Something more believable?" ROFL. Inside joke with Governor's School people.) But it explains emergence and the complexity of life better than evolution on its own ever could.

Finally, one thing we as the generation of the quanta have learned is that the universe is (literally) uncertain. And perhaps that's the best way to go about this whole ordeal: to be ever humble, knowing that we don't know. Because we are mere dust on some insignificant ball out in an arm of a spiraling galaxy. At the same time, we're the universe's best attempt at getting to know itself that we know of. And that too is humbling AND inspiring.

I'll end this with the note that the only thing that I know for sure is that I know nothing for sure. But living life on the edge is like that. It's beautiful. Truly, effortlessly beautiful.

And then there's always the chance that all my ideas are wrong. And that no one's watching.

-------------------

Writer's Note:

None of these ideas are my own. Like I could come up with something this elegant. Psh, right. All of this came from hundreds of philosophers, scientists, and mystics, nicely distilled to me through Ken Wilber's writings.

If you're at all interested in some of these concepts, check out Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality by Ken Wilber. It's a killer read. Or really any other book by this guy. He's an amazing compendium of all the philosophy of the East, West, North and South.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Road Travelled (and Not)

With all this hullabaloo about choosing a college coming up, I got to thinking about an odd concept: where I choose to go to college will greatly affect the next 4 years of my life. No lie.

By this, I mean it will dictate, in one way or another, who my new friends are (don't worry, current friends, with the Machine [aka the interweb] alive and growing, we'll keep in touch like peas and carrots), what activities I do, what career path I follow, and, in a more general sense, EVERYTHING. Just from the simple decision of what college I go to (AKA what place accepts me and gives me the most money).

It's baffling in a way. But on the other hand, when I consider that ANY choice I make results in the same sort of life-defining-ness, it becomes quite ordinary. Not ordinary in a bad way though. No, ordinary in the sense that it's fucking amazing that life works this way, and that humans manage to not go insane going through it.

Think about it. When you make that choice to go to the party instead of staying home studying, you might meet the girl of your dreams / a new best friend / absolutely noone. You might get hit by a car on the way home. You might meet the person who points you onto a new career path. How many seemingly simple choices like whether or not you go to a party do you make throughout the day? Tens? Hundreds? Thousands? And they ALL potentially have this far reaching consequences.

There's an analogy in quantum physics, if you'll allow me to go there. Every particle theoretically travels EVERY POSSIBLE PATH that it can before deciding on the one it "actually" takes between two points. So, if you put a particle in a box, and it goes from point A to point B, in reality it traveled every possible route (and I'd assume there are an infinite number of them) from A to B. Every route.

In much the same way, we live our lives, travelling from point A (birth) to point B (death). And we can only take one path. But there are an infinite number of paths we DIDN'T take. An infinite number.

Fuck.

I guess all a guy can do is go through life. Make the best choices he can. And just pray that he made the best ones.

Though in the end, the choices that you make are the choices that you make. And where you are is where you are. And it could be no other way.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

I'm 18 and I Forgot

In that long list of things people told me I could now do being 18 (buy cigarettes, drive after 11, watch porn, etc.), a very important item was missing: my ability to register to vote. That's right, I, the crazy wacko liberal pinko fag (hehehe, I'm only one of those things... guess which one?!) forgot that I'm now eligible to vote in the United States of America.

I amended that mistake today. I am now (well, by now I mean as soon as the mailed in registration form is processed) a registered Independent. I unfortunately missed the cut off date to be able to vote in this coming November's elections (what elections?), but I'll be more than able to vote in the 2006 mid-term elections. Exciting!

Why didn't I register Democrat, you ask? Because I don't see the point of being in a party. I'll vote for whoever wants and will do what is best for this country and our world. That person may be a Democrat, they may be Republican. Heck, they may be Green. I don't really care. The party shouldn't sell the ticket. The person should.

Since I'm privileged enough to live in a country that will let me vote, I also decided to register for the Selective Service today. That's the thing that's really like the draft, except the government doesn't draft you from it (yet). Prior to filling it out, I thought about my whole "Hell no, I won't go!" belief should they ever reinstitute the draft. And a whole lot of it's just me being a narcissistic pussy asshole. I'll have to think about it some more. Maybe it'll warrant its own post.

And therefore today's been a productive day.

I hope you all enjoy your Sunday. I'll be spending mine reading. Non-stop. Reading.

:)

Friday, October 07, 2005

Dances, Villanova, and a Free Day

Hello there. I'm trying to make my titles more vague and less, well, tacky. Therefore the more open, general titles instead of "Wow, life's great!" or "Man, life sucks!" I personally was running out of original titles [I guess those aren't really original...]. So I'm switching my format. Just so you know. :)

Anyway, I went to the Hurricane Katrina Relief Dance yesterday. Let me say, it was a smash. Bravo to all National Honors Society members, Tri-M members, parents, teachers, custodians, DJs and administrators that made it work. Isn't it amazing just how many people were necessary to make something seemingly so simple work out? Simply amazing.

Though the dance went well, I personally didn't have too much fun. That's nothing new. Dances + Me = Not Fun Time. The only "dance" I've ever had fun at was the Junior Prom. I can honestly say I enjoyed myself that night.

I could try and figure out why I don't have fun, and maybe I will at some later date. But for now I'll narrow it down to the music. Rap, which may be used for noble purposes, tends to just be about sex or drugs, usually in combination. Now, it's good for dancing to because if it's "beats". Admittedly, "white" music isn't conducive to dancing. Therefore why white folk turn to alcohol / drugs at parties. You can't dance to white music sober, so some artificial potion does the trick. Heh. I guess I won't be having fun at any parties anytime soon considering my dislike of dancing / drugs-alcohol. Oh well. I'll just stick to having fun with nice conversations, interesting activities, etc.

Now to Villanova. Went there today. It was really fun. Other than it taking up most of my "free" day. :) But that's okay. Villanova has this cool philosophy of combining "heart and mind." Sounds a lot like the Buddhist principle of Big Mind / Big Heart. I like it. So what if it's "a Roman Catholic" institute.

Plus, they apparently have a great science program there. At least, Mr. O, Mr. Hess, and Mr. Hagan have all hyped it up. And let's face it, I'm going into sciences. Whether I like it or not.

That's all there is to say. I might just have a free day tomorrow if Kenny's right. That's a blessing and a curse (like most things in life). I really could use the free time to get some work done.

Or maybe enjoy myself.

In the meantime, you all enjoy yourselves.

Bye.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Yay!!!

Finally, I believe I've gotten the video up. Now, I don't really know if it'll work for you, but there is no reason why it shouldn't.

If it doesn't, just smack me or something.

With this new ability, I'll probably put the videos up weekly. However, with the space limitations (only 30 MB), I'll only be able to put up two at a time. So, yeah. Just thought I'd share that.

I'm off to get ready for the Hurricane Relief Dance. At Chi High. Be there.

Peace!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Maturity and Conflict Management

If there's one thing I learned in Freshman Lunch, it's that I suck at conflict management. I get in a pinch, and I freeze up. Well, not really freeze up. I just kind of shut down my "Big Mind" and go into fight or flight mode. It's kind of amusing.

Oh, and sorry about all the biching today after/about Freshman Lunch. I realize now that this annoyance could have just ended there. But for some reason I just felt the urge to share. I don't know if it was beneficial or not (to me or others). Anyway, one thing I know is that I could have just told the story without me saying, "Man, that was a bitch. I hate freshman!" Yeah, that didn't get anything done.

"Do you believe in God?" asks the freshman. 'Oh, man, that would be a two hour discussion right there,' thinks I. ROFL.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Om mani padme hung.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Intelligence, Vocab, and My Hatred of Big Words

Hi everyone. Sorry about the band video. I'm told it isn't working. And Google is still "pending." Well, there's always next week. Perhaps I'll get it right then.

Anyway, I'm going to start a rant here, and see what you all think. Sitting in AP English class, we're constantly told that a big vocab = big intelligence. I personally think that's a bunch of hoowie. Maybe it's because my vocab isn't ginormous. But I truly believe that smart people have big vocabs, not that big vocabs signify a smart person.

And I don't like using big words just for the sake of using big words. I mean, if a smaller, descriptive word works, why use a larger word? "Oh, that's not enough syllables. Let's use 4 syllable word. Oh, I know! Bildungsroman! Now I sound smart!" What's the point?

Not that I'm busting the chops of all you big vocab people out there. I just think little words are getting a bad rap. In AP English, at least.

But I'm only "proficient" in writing. So what do I know... :)

I'm off to an evening of reading, reading, and reading.

Peace out!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Woe is Me

Well, I just wanted to explain this whole video escapade, so that you can understand why everything didn't transpire as planned.

Today I got the brilliant idea of posting our marching band show on the internet. Genius, I thought. It'll be a piece of cake.

I exported the video (which is about 6 minutes long) out of iMovie, and it came out to be a whopping 15 MB. That doesn't sound big, but when you're talking about uploading / others downloading this file, that is almost unmanagable. Plus there's the simple fact that I'm not super computer proficient (at least compared to how I used to be).

Then I attempted to upload it to video hosting sites, including VidiLife. These sites don't support Quicktime (yes, I know Ed, Apple is the Antichrist. :) ), so that idea didn't pan out too well.

Then I tried hosting it from my Power Mac. That should have worked, but for reasons unknown (and perhaps unknowable [duh, duh, duuuuuh]), it didn't. The other computers on my network can pick it up. But apparently computers not on the network cannot.

So, I ended up with a tiny video (only 4 MB) that is hosted from Comcast. Not quite what I was going for. Not quite it at all.

But now I found out that Google has video hosting! And a special uploading application! So I might just get the decent one up tonight!

This would involve staying up about an hour later than I'd like. But who needs sleep anyway.

I love Google. Sometimes I fear them becoming the Microsoft of the internet, but then I realize that Google doesn't come out with inferior products. :)

Enough of my bantering. And I had a good topic to talk about today too (how the human mind finds patterns in everything). I suppose I'll get to that later. Sigh...

Good night.

Finally...

And, after failing to get it up by 8:30, I got it up now!

Here is is. Yes, it's tiny. But it's better than nothing. I'll get the hang of this sometime.

Sorry for the delay / the sucking. But it's a learning experience.

Namaste.

Me Trying

If the video isn't working, as Dave says, I'll try and put it up on Comcast around 8:30 tonight. So, if you come back then, it should be up.

I still don't get why it's not working. It should be. Sigh...

Band Video!!!

I've successfully (I think) uploaded the band video onto a video hosting website. It can be found here. Please tell me how it works. Either in comments, IM, or e-mail. Or person. That works too.

And spread the word to people that don't read this blog! I figure band members have some sort of right to see the show. But I'm crazy. :)

(This video requires Quicktime. And a high speed internet connection.)

--------------------------

Okay. I think I really have it working now. Hopefully.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality

It is flat-out strange that something - that anything - is happening at all. There was nothing, then a Big Bang, then here we all are. This is extremely weird.

To Schelling's burning question, "Why is there something rather than nothing?," there have always been two general answers. The first might be called the philosophy of "oops." The universe just occurs, there is nothing behind it, it's all ultimately accidental and random, it just is, it just happens - oops! The philosophy of oops, no matter how sophisticated and adult it may on occasion appear - its modern names and numbers are legion, from positivism to scientific materialism, from linguistic analysis to historical materialism, from naturalism to empiricism - always comes down to the same basic answer, namely, "Don't ask."

The question itself (Why is anything at all happening? Why am I here?) - the question itself is said to be confused, pathological, nonsensical, or infantile. To stop asking such silly or confused questions is, they all maintain, the mark of maturity, the sign of growing up in this cosmos.

I don't think so. I think the "answer" these "modern and mature" disciplines give - namely, oops! (and therefore, "Don't ask!") - is about as infantile a response as the human condition could possibly offer.

The other broad answer that has been tendered is that something else is going on: behind the happenstance drama is a deeper or higher or wider pattern, or order, or intelligence. There are, of course, many varieties of this "Deeper Order": the Tao, God, Geist, Maat, Archetypal Forms, Reason, Li, Mahamaya, Brahman, Rigpa. And although these different varieties of the Deeper Order certainly disagree with each other at many points, they all agree on this: the universe is not what it appears. Something else is going on, something quite other than oops. . . .

-- Excerpt from
Sex, Ecology, and Spirituality by Ken Wilber

I <3 Ken Wilber

This (Video) Game Called Life

More and more as of late I've been viewing my life as some sort of weird video game. Not really in a conscious manner, but rather through the way I get excited about activities / life in general. Like, when I have to get something done, I feel this unusual excitement about doing it. Especially if it's something that will directly benefit me (e.g. exercising). It reminds me a lot of how I'd feel back in the day (oh, 3 or 4 years ago) when I'd play RPGs. In those games, I'd play for hours just "leveling up" my characters. Literally not playing the game, just gaining experience points to make the game easier.

And in a way, I guess that's what exercising / meditating / eating right / having fun is all about. It prepares you to get through life, to make it easier. Because life is difficult. It never becomes un-difficult. But you can still make it a little easier.

So, not doing all those activities enumerated above, you can still get through life. You can even get through life well. But I always want to get things done in the most efficient, easy, and beneficial ways. I'm just weird like that. And I therefore get a kick out of "leveling" myself up.

And so I'm left with another metaphor to describe life: as a video game.

:)